36 years I've been on this earth.
It doesn't really seem like that long if I sit down and think about it. 18 years ago, I was 18. Standing on the edge of life, ready to take the plunge & excited to experience life as an adult. I still feel like I'm 18 when life forces adulting on me but then I try to pop my own neck and everything is far too tight to get any relief. Something I thought I would never grow out of when I was 18.
In 36 years, I feel that I've accomplished more than I ever thought I would. I've been married for 15 wonderful years to one of the most amazing people I've ever met in my entire life; even though at 18, I felt like marriage wasn't going to be a part of my journey. Then BAM! I met Joe at 19. We were married at the tender ages of 20 & 22. BABIES! We were babies. I wouldn't have done it any other way though - Life has unfolded exactly the way it should have, I feel.
A lot of kids have aspirations to become ballerinas, doctors, lawyers, astronauts, etc. My dream was the family life. I have always loved kids - babysitting was awesome but once my big sister started having kids, I was hooked. Spending time with my niece and nephews proved to me that I wanted to be a mom. I now have four beautiful children of my own. I have been a mother for almost 14 years of my life. You learn a lot about children and how they're SO different. You learn a lot about yourself and what you can truly handle & overcome even while suffering from sleep deprivation.
Motherhood is one of those really hard sacrifices that women make. You're giving up your body; not only for 9 months of creating a child, but also for a long time even after birth. Kids need their Mom physically every day. Feeding, clothing, bathing, diapering, caring, loving, teaching, guiding, etc. Its not only a physical sacrifice but an emotional & mental sacrifice. And because children learn by example the easiest, you're constantly keeping your own behavior in check to help them become the best they can be.
Motherhood is a wonderful blessing because not only are kids adorable and fun to cuddle, but through motherhood, I've learned compassion, kindness, selflessness, humility, charity, and patience.
Joe & I bought a house together. The very thought of it still seems insane to me even though we've now owned our home for 7 years. Like, what is that? Who are we? We're freaking adults, Joe! There is a learning curve to owning a home but it has been such a wonderful blessing. Working together with Joe to provide a stable home life for ourselves and the kids is huge and I'm so grateful.
Thinking about life - our childhood has such a huge impact on the rest of our lives. We learn how to process the world around us, our thoughts & feelings, how to react to others, and difficult situations. 18 years seems so brief to me now - 18 years of freedom and childhood. Not that becoming an adult is complete & total bondage and dread, but childhood is a simple time where the little things do matter the most. It seems each year since 18 brings a richer experience, a deeper understanding of who I am and who I am slowly becoming. As nice as it would seem, to be able to stay in our happiest moments forever, I think we would suffer from not growing. Struggling through the difficult times, experiencing life's sadness only refines us and brings us more joy in the good moments. There is no light without the dark. There is not joy without the grief. I think the sooner we come to realize that life's greatest joys are in the smallest of moments, the sooner we will experience true happiness.
Cheers to year 36... and many more to come. <3